Pac-Man,bow,Apple,chest,six pack,nail,tornado,Mickey Mouse,Youtube,lightning,traffic light,waterfall,McDonalds,Donald Trump,Patrick,stop sign,Superman,tooth,sunflower,keyboard,island,Pikachu,Harry Potter,Nintendo Switch,Facebook,eyebrow,Peppa Pig,SpongeBob,Creeper,octopus,church,Eiffel tower,tongue,snowflake,fish,Twitter,pan,Jesus Christ,butt cheeks,jail,Pepsi,hospital,pregnant,thunderstorm,smile,skull,flower,palm tree,Angry Birds,America,lips,cloud,compass,mustache,Captain America,pimple,Easter Bunny,chicken,Elmo,watch,prison,skeleton,arrow,volcano,Minion,school,tie,lighthouse,fountain,Cookie Monster,Iron Man,Santa,blood,river,bar,Mount Everest,chest hair,Gumball,north,water,cactus,treehouse,bridge,short,thumb,beach,mountain,Nike,flag,Paris,eyelash,Shrek,brain,iceberg,fingernail,playground,ice cream,Google,dead,knife,spoon,unibrow,Spiderman,black,graveyard,elbow,golden egg,yellow,Germany,Adidas,nose hair,Deadpool,Homer Simpson,Bart Simpson,rainbow,ruler,building,raindrop,storm,coffee shop,windmill,fidget spinner,yo-yo,ice,legs,tent,mouth,ocean,Fanta,homeless,tablet,muscle,Pinocchio,tear,nose,snow,nostrils,Olaf,belly button,Lion King,car wash,Egypt,Statue of Liberty,Hello Kitty,pinky,Winnie the Pooh,guitar,Hulk,Grinch,Nutella,cold,flagpole,Canada,rainforest,blue,rose,tree,hot,mailbox,Nemo,crab,knee,doghouse,Chrome,cotton candy,Barack Obama,hot chocolate,Michael Jackson,map,Samsung,shoulder,Microsoft,parking,forest,full moon,cherry blossom,apple seed,Donald Duck,leaf,bat,earwax,Italy,finger,seed,lilypad,brush,record,wrist,thunder,gummy,Kirby,fire hydrant,overweight,hot dog,house,fork,pink,Sonic,street,Nasa,arm,fast,tunnel,full,library,pet shop,Yoshi,Russia,drum kit,Android,Finn and Jake,price tag,Tooth Fairy,bus stop,rain,heart,face,tower,bank,cheeks,Batman,speaker,Thor,skinny,electric guitar,belly,cute,ice cream truck,bubble gum,top hat,Pink Panther,hand,bald,freckles,clover,armpit,Japan,thin,traffic,spaghetti,Phineas and Ferb,broken heart,fingertip,funny,poisonous,Wonder Woman,Squidward,Mark Zuckerberg,twig,red,China,dream,Dora,daisy,France,Discord,toenail,positive,forehead,earthquake,iron,Zeus,Mercedes,Big Ben,supermarket,Bugs Bunny,Yin and Yang,drink,rock,drum,piano,white,bench,fall,royal,seashell,Audi,stomach,aquarium,Bitcoin,volleyball,marshmallow,Cat Woman,underground,Green Lantern,bottle flip,toothbrush,globe,sand,zoo,west,puddle,lobster,North Korea,Luigi,bamboo,Great Wall,Kim Jong-un,bad,credit card,swimming pool,Wolverine,head,hair,Yoda,Elsa,turkey,heel,maracas,clean,droplet,cinema,poor,stamp,Africa,whistle,Teletubby,wind,Aladdin,tissue box,fire truck,Usain Bolt,water gun,farm,iPad,well,warm,booger,WhatsApp,Skype,landscape,pine cone,Mexico,slow,organ,fish bowl,teddy bear,John Cena,Frankenstein,tennis racket,gummy bear,Mount Rushmore,swing,Mario,lake,point,vein,cave,smell,chin,desert,scary,Dracula,airport,kiwi,seaweed,incognito,Pluto,statue,hairy,strawberry,low,invisible,blindfold,tuna,controller,Paypal,King Kong,neck,lung,weather,Xbox,tiny,icicle,flashlight,scissors,emoji,strong,saliva,firefighter,salmon,basketball,spring,Tarzan,red carpet,drain,coral reef,nose ring,caterpillar,Wall-e,seat belt,polar bear,Scooby Doo,wave,sea,grass,pancake,park,lipstick,pickaxe,east,grenade,village,Flash,throat,dizzy,Asia,petal,Gru,country,spaceship,restaurant,copy,skin,glue stick,Garfield,equator,blizzard,golden apple,Robin Hood,fast food,barbed wire,Bill Gates,Tower of Pisa,neighborhood,lightsaber,video game,high heels,dirty,flamethrower,pencil sharpener,hill,old,flute,cheek,violin,fireball,spine,bathtub,cell phone,breath,open,Australia,toothpaste,Tails,skyscraper,cowbell,rib,ceiling fan,Eminem,Jimmy Neutron,photo frame,barn,sandstorm,Jackie Chan,Abraham Lincoln,T-rex,pot of gold,KFC,shell,poison,acne,avocado,study,bandana,England,Medusa,scar,Skittles,Pokemon,branch,Dumbo,factory,Hollywood,deep,knuckle,popular,piggy bank,Las Vegas,microphone,Tower Bridge,butterfly,slide,hut,shovel,hamburger,shop,fort,Ikea,planet,border,panda,highway,swamp,tropical,lightbulb,Kermit,headphones,jungle,Reddit,young,trumpet,cheeseburger,gas mask,apartment,manhole,nutcracker,Antarctica,mansion,bunk bed,sunglasses,spray paint,Jack-o-lantern,saltwater,tank,cliff,campfire,palm,pumpkin,elephant,banjo,nature,alley,fireproof,earbuds,crossbow,Elon Musk,quicksand,Playstation,Hawaii,good,corn dog,Gandalf,dock,magic wand,field,Solar System,photograph,ukulele,James Bond,The Beatles,Katy Perry,pirate ship,Poseidon,Netherlands,photographer,Lego,hourglass,glass,path,hotel,ramp,dandelion,Brazil,coral,cigarette,messy,Dexter,valley,parachute,wine glass,matchbox,Morgan Freeman,black hole,midnight,astronaut,paper bag,sand castle,forest fire,hot sauce,social media,William Shakespeare,trash can,fire alarm,lawn mower,nail polish,Band-Aid,Star Wars,clothes hanger,toe,mud,coconut,jaw,bomb,south,firework,sailboat,loading,iPhone,toothpick,BMW,ketchup,fossil,explosion,Finn,Einstein,infinite,dictionary,Photoshop,trombone,clarinet,rubber,saxophone,helicopter,temperature,bus driver,cello,London,newspaper,blackberry,shopping cart,Florida,Daffy Duck,mayonnaise,gummy worm,flying pig,underweight,Crash Bandicoot,bungee jumping,kindergarten,umbrella,hammer,night,laser,glove,square,Morty,firehouse,dynamite,chainsaw,melon,waist,Chewbacca,kidney,stoned,Rick,ticket,skateboard,microwave,television,soil,exam,cocktail,India,Colosseum,missile,hilarious,Popeye,nuke,silo,chemical,museum,Vault boy,adorable,fast forward,firecracker,grandmother,Porky Pig,roadblock,continent,wrinkle,shaving cream,Northern Lights,tug,London Eye,Israel,shipwreck,xylophone,motorcycle,diamond,root,coffee,princess,Oreo,goldfish,wizard,chocolate,garbage,ladybug,shotgun,kazoo,Minecraft,video,message,lily,fisherman,cucumber,password,western,ambulance,doorknob,glowstick,makeup,barbecue,jazz,hedgehog,bark,tombstone,coast,pitchfork,Christmas,opera,office,insect,hunger,download,hairbrush,blueberry,cookie jar,canyon,Happy Meal,high five,fern,quarter,peninsula,imagination,microscope,table tennis,whisper,fly swatter,pencil case,harmonica,Family Guy,New Zealand,apple pie,warehouse,cookie,USB,jellyfish,bubble,battery,fireman,pizza,angry,taco,harp,alcohol,pound,bedtime,megaphone,husband,oval,rail,stab,dwarf,milkshake,witch,bakery,president,weak,second,sushi,mall,complete,hip hop,slippery,horizon,prawn,plumber,blowfish,Madagascar,Europe,bazooka,pogo stick,Terminator,Hercules,notification,snowball fight,high score,Kung Fu,Lady Gaga,geography,sledgehammer,bear trap,sky,cheese,vine,clown,catfish,snowman,bowl,waffle,vegetable,hook,shadow,dinosaur,lane,dance,scarf,cabin,Tweety,bookshelf,swordfish,skyline,base,straw,biscuit,Greece,bleach,pepper,reflection,universe,skateboarder,triplets,gold chain,electric car,policeman,electricity,mother,Bambi,croissant,Ireland,sandbox,stadium,depressed,Johnny Bravo,silverware,raspberry,dandruff,Scotland,comic book,cylinder,Milky Way,taxi driver,magic trick,sunrise,popcorn,eat,cola,cake,pond,mushroom,rocket,surfboard,baby,cape,glasses,sunburn,chef,gate,charger,crack,mohawk,triangle,carpet,dessert,taser,afro,cobra,ringtone,cockroach,levitate,mailman,rockstar,lyrics,grumpy,stand,Norway,binoculars,nightclub,puppet,novel,injection,thief,pray,chandelier,exercise,lava lamp,lap,massage,thermometer,golf cart,postcard,bell pepper,bed bug,paintball,Notch,yogurt,graffiti,burglar,butler,seafood,Sydney Opera House,Susan Wojcicki,parents,bed sheet,Leonardo da Vinci,intersection,palace,shrub,lumberjack,relationship,observatory,junk food,eye,log,dice,bicycle,pineapple,camera,circle,lemonade,soda,comb,cube,Doritos,love,table,honey,lighter,broccoli,fireplace,drive,Titanic,backpack,emerald,giraffe,world,internet,kitten,volume,Spain,daughter,armor,noob,rectangle,driver,raccoon,bacon,lady,bull,camping,poppy,snowball,farmer,lasso,breakfast,oxygen,milkman,caveman,laboratory,bandage,neighbor,Cupid,Sudoku,wedding,seagull,spatula,atom,dew,fortress,vegetarian,ivy,snowboard,conversation,treasure,chopsticks,garlic,vacuum,swimsuit,divorce,advertisement,vuvuzela,Mr Bean,Fred Flintstone,pet food,upgrade,voodoo,punishment,Charlie Chaplin,Rome,graduation,beatbox,communism,yeti,ear,dots,octagon,kite,lion,winner,muffin,cupcake,unicorn,smoke,lime,monster,Mars,moss,summer,lollipop,coffin,paint,lottery,wife,pirate,sandwich,lantern,seahorse,Cuba,archer,sweat,deodorant,plank,Steam,birthday,submarine,zombie,casino,gas,stove,helmet,mosquito,ponytail,corpse,subway,spy,jump rope,baguette,grin,centipede,gorilla,website,text,workplace,bookmark,anglerfish,wireless,Zorro,sports,abstract,detective,Amsterdam,elevator,chimney,reindeer,Singapore,perfume,soldier,bodyguard,magnifier,freezer,radiation,assassin,yawn,backbone,disaster,giant,pillow fight,grasshopper,Vin Diesel,geyser,burrito,celebrity,Lasagna,Pumba,karaoke,hypnotize,platypus,Leonardo DiCaprio,bird bath,battleship,back pain,rapper,werewolf,Black Friday,cathedral,Sherlock Holmes,ABBA,hard hat,sword,mirror,toilet,eggplant,jelly,hero,starfish,bread,snail,person,plunger,computer,nosebleed,goat,joker,sponge,mop,owl,beef,portal,genie,crocodile,murderer,magic,pine,winter,robber,pepperoni,shoebox,fog,screen,son,folder,mask,Goofy,Mercury,zipline,wall,dragonfly,zipper,meatball,slingshot,Pringles,circus,mammoth,nugget,mousetrap,recycling,revolver,champion,zigzag,meat,drought,vodka,notepad,porcupine,tuba,hacker,broomstick,kitchen,cheesecake,satellite,JayZ,squirrel,leprechaun,jello,gangster,raincoat,eyeshadow,shopping,gardener,scythe,portrait,jackhammer,allergy,honeycomb,headache,Miniclip,Mona Lisa,cheetah,virtual reality,virus,Argentina,blanket,military,headband,superpower,language,handshake,reptile,thirst,fake teeth,duct tape,macaroni,color-blind,comfortable,Robbie Rotten,coast guard,cab driver,pistachio,Angelina Jolie,autograph,sea lion,Morse code,clickbait,star,girl,lemon,alarm,shoe,soap,button,kiss,grave,telephone,fridge,katana,switch,eraser,signature,pasta,flamingo,crayon,puzzle,hard,juice,socks,crystal,telescope,galaxy,squid,tattoo,bowling,lamb,silver,lid,taxi,basket,step,stapler,pigeon,zoom,teacher,holiday,score,Tetris,frame,garden,stage,unicycle,cream,sombrero,error,battle,starfruit,hamster,chalk,spiral,bounce,hairspray,lizard,victory,balance,hexagon,Ferrari,MTV,network,weapon,fist fight,vault,mattress,viola,birch,stereo,Jenga,plug,chihuahua,plow,pavement,wart,ribbon,otter,magazine,Bomberman,vaccine,elder,Romania,champagne,semicircle,Suez Canal,Mr Meeseeks,villain,inside,spade,gravedigger,Bruce Lee,gentle,stingray,can opener,funeral,jet ski,wheelbarrow,thug,undo,fabulous,space suit,cappuccino,Minotaur,skydiving,cheerleader,Stone Age,Chinatown,razorblade,crawl space,cauldron,trick shot,Steve Jobs,audience,time machine,sewing machine,face paint,truck driver,x-ray,fly,salt,spider,boy,dollar,turtle,book,chain,dolphin,sing,milk,wing,pencil,snake,scream,toast,vomit,salad,radio,potion,dominoes,balloon,monkey,trophy,feather,leash,loser,bite,notebook,happy,Mummy,sneeze,koala,tired,sick,pipe,jalapeno,diaper,deer,priest,youtuber,boomerang,pro,ruby,hop,hopscotch,barcode,vote,wrench,tissue,doll,clownfish,halo,Monday,tentacle,grid,Uranus,oil,scarecrow,tarantula,germ,glow,haircut,Vatican,tape,judge,cell,diagonal,science,mustard,fur,janitor,ballerina,pike,nun,chime,tuxedo,Cerberus,panpipes,surface,coal,knot,willow,pajamas,fizz,student,eclipse,asteroid,Portugal,pigsty,brand,crowbar,chimpanzee,Chuck Norris,raft,carnival,treadmill,professor,tricycle,apocalypse,vitamin,orchestra,groom,cringe,knight,litter box,macho,brownie,hummingbird,Hula Hoop,motorbike,type,catapult,take off,wake up,concert,floppy disk,BMX,bulldozer,manicure,brainwash,William Wallace,guinea pig,motherboard,wheel,brick,egg,lava,queen,gold,God,ladder,coin,laptop,toaster,butter,bag,doctor,sit,tennis,half,Bible,noodle,golf,eagle,cash,vampire,sweater,father,remote,safe,jeans,darts,graph,nothing,dagger,stone,wig,cupboard,minute,match,slime,garage,tomb,soup,bathroom,llama,shampoo,swan,frown,toolbox,jacket,adult,crate,quill,spin,waiter,mint,kangaroo,captain,loot,maid,shoelace,luggage,cage,bagpipes,loaf,aircraft,shelf,safari,afterlife,napkin,steam,coach,slope,marigold,Mozart,bumper,Asterix,vanilla,papaya,ostrich,failure,scoop,tangerine,firefly,centaur,harbor,uniform,Beethoven,Intel,moth,Spartacus,fluid,acid,sparkles,talent show,ski jump,polo,ravioli,delivery,woodpecker,logo,Stegosaurus,diss track,Darwin Watterson,filmmaker,silence,dashboard,echo,windshield,Home Alone,tablecloth,backflip,headboard,licorice,sunshade,Picasso,airbag,water cycle,meatloaf,insomnia,broom,whale,pie,demon,bed,braces,fence,orange,sleep,gift,Popsicle,spear,zebra,Saturn,maze,chess,wire,angel,skates,pyramid,shower,claw,hell,goal,bottle,dress,walk,AC/DC,tampon,goatee,prince,flask,cut,cord,roof,movie,ash,tiger,player,magician,wool,saddle,cowboy,derp,suitcase,sugar,nest,anchor,onion,magma,limbo,collar,mole,bingo,walnut,wealth,security,leader,melt,Gandhi,arch,toy,turd,scientist,hippo,glue,kneel,orbit,below,totem,health,towel,diet,crow,addiction,minigolf,clay,boar,navy,butcher,trigger,referee,bruise,translate,yearbook,confused,engine,poke,wreath,omelet,gravity,bride,godfather,flu,accordion,engineer,cocoon,minivan,bean bag,antivirus,billiards,rake,cement,cauliflower,espresso,violence,blender,chew,bartender,witness,hobbit,corkscrew,chameleon,cymbal,Excalibur,grapefruit,action,outside,guillotine,timpani,frostbite,leave,Mont Blanc,palette,electrician,fitness trainer,journalist,fashion designer,bucket,penguin,sheep,torch,robot,peanut,UFO,belt,Earth,magnet,dragon,soccer,desk,search,seal,scribble,gender,food,anvil,crust,bean,hockey,pot,pretzel,needle,blimp,plate,drool,frog,basement,idea,bracelet,cork,sauce,gang,sprinkler,shout,morning,poodle,karate,bagel,wolf,sausage,heat,wasp,calendar,tadpole,religion,hose,sleeve,acorn,sting,market,marble,comet,pain,cloth,drawer,orca,hurdle,pinball,narwhal,pollution,metal,race,end,razor,dollhouse,distance,prism,pub,lotion,vanish,vulture,beanie,burp,periscope,cousin,customer,label,mold,kebab,beaver,spark,meme,pudding,almond,mafia,gasp,nightmare,mermaid,season,gasoline,evening,eel,cast,hive,beetle,diploma,jeep,bulge,wrestler,Anubis,mascot,spinach,hieroglyph,anaconda,handicap,walrus,blacksmith,robin,reception,invasion,fencing,sphinx,evolution,brunette,traveler,jaguar,diagram,hovercraft,parade,dome,credit,tow truck,shallow,vlogger,veterinarian,furniture,commercial,cyborg,scent,defense,accident,marathon,demonstration,NASCAR,Velociraptor,pharmacist,Xerox,gentleman,dough,rhinoceros,air conditioner,poop,clock,carrot,cherry,candle,boots,target,wine,die,moon,airplane,think,pause,pill,pocket,Easter,horse,child,lamp,pillow,yolk,potato,pickle,nurse,ham,ninja,screw,board,pin,lettuce,console,climb,goose,bill,tortoise,sink,ski,glitter,miner,parrot,clap,spit,wiggle,peacock,roll,ballet,ceiling,celebrate,blind,yacht,addition,flock,powder,paddle,harpoon,kraken,baboon,antenna,classroom,bronze,writer,Obelix,touch,sensei,rest,puma,dent,shake,goblin,laundry,cloak,detonate,Neptune,cotton,generator,canary,horsewhip,racecar,Croatia,tip,cardboard,commander,seasick,anthill,vinegar,hippie,dentist,animation,Slinky,wallpaper,pendulum,vertical,chestplate,anime,beanstalk,survivor,florist,faucet,spore,risk,wonderland,wrestling,hazelnut,cushion,W-LAN,mayor,community,raisin,udder,oyster,sew,hazard,curry,pastry,mime,victim,mechanic,hibernate,bouncer,Iron Giant,floodlight,pear,sad,paw,space,bullet,
skribbl.io,shirt,cow,worm,king,tea,truck,pants,hashtag,DNA,bird,Monster,beer,curtain,tire,nachos,bear,cricket,teapot,nerd,deaf,fruit,meteorite,rice,sniper,sale,gnome,shock,shape,alligator,meal,nickel,party,hurt,Segway,Mr. Bean,banker,cartoon,double,hammock,juggle,pope,leak,room,throne,hoof,radar,wound,luck,swag,panther,flush,Venus,disease,fortune,porch,machine,pilot,copper,mantis,keg,biology,wax,gloss,leech,sculpture,pelican,trapdoor,plague,quilt,yardstick,lounge,teaspoon,broadcast,uncle,comedian,mannequin,peasant,streamer,oar,drama,cornfield,carnivore,wingnut,vent,cabinet,vacation,applause,vision,radish,picnic,Skrillex,jester,preach,armadillo,hyena,librarian,interview,sauna,surgeon,dishrag,manatee,symphony,queue,industry,Atlantis,excavator,canister,model,flight attendant,ghost,pig,key,banana,tomato,axe,line,present,duck,alien,peas,gem,web,grapes,corn,can,fairy,camel,paper,beak,corner,penny,dig,link,donkey,fox,rug,drip,hunter,horn,purse,gumball,pony,musket,flea,kettle,rooster,balcony,seesaw,stork,dinner,greed,bait,duel,trap,heist,origami,skunk,coaster,leather,socket,fireside,cannon,ram,filter,alpaca,Zelda,condiment,server,antelope,emu,chestnut,dalmatian,swarm,sloth,reality,Darwin,torpedo,toucan,pedal,tabletop,frosting,bellow,vortex,bayonet,margarine,orchid,beet,journey,slam,marmalade,employer,stylus,spoiler,repeat,tiramisu,cuckoo,collapse,eskimo,assault,orangutan,wrapping,albatross,mothball,evaporate,turnip,puffin,reeds,receptionist,impact,dispenser,nutshell,procrastination,architect,programmer,bricklayer,boat,bell,ring,fries,money,chair,door,bee,tail,ball,mouse,rat,window,peace,nut,blush,page,toad,hug,ace,tractor,peach,whisk,hen,day,shy,lawyer,rewind,tripod,trailer,hermit,welder,festival,punk,handle,protest,lens,attic,foil,promotion,work,limousine,patriot,badger,studio,athlete,quokka,trend,pinwheel,gravel,fabric,lemur,provoke,rune,display,nail file,embers,asymmetry,actor,carpenter,aristocrat,Zuma,chinchilla,archaeologist,apple,hat,sun,box,cat,cup,train,bunny,sound,run,barrel,barber,grill,read,family,moose,boil,printer,poster,sledge,nutmeg,heading,cruise,pillar,retail,monk,spool,catalog,scuba,anteater,pensioner,coyote,vise,bobsled,purity,tailor,meerkat,weasel,invention,lynx,kendama,zeppelin,patient,gladiator,slump,Capricorn,baklava,prune,stress,crucible,hitchhiker,election,caviar,marmot,hair roller,pistol,cone,ant,lock,hanger,cap,Mr. Meeseeks,comedy,coat,tourist,tickle,facade,shrew,diva,patio,apricot,spelunker,parakeet,barbarian,tumor,figurine,desperate,landlord,bus,mug,dog,shark,abyss,betray
submitted by This happened when I lived in Las Vegas Nevada. Across from the office where I worked, there was a casino. Due to conflicting work schedules and only having one car at the time, my husband would drop me off about an hour before I had to be into work, so to kill time I would go across the street to the casino and have breakfast. I was not a gambler, but I would join the slot clubs so I could have the local discounted breakfast. Could not beat a decent buffet breakfast for 5.99 am I right?
So at least 3 to 4 times a week I would go have breakfast, enjoy my coffee afterwards and then I would use the ladies room before I walked over to my office. I kept this routine up for about a month. One day I was approached by a detective from the metro police as I was getting ready to go into the bathroom. The officer said they needed to talk to me in private, they also had a female casino floor manager with them. She knew my name and knew that I was there just about every day because I swiped my slot club card when I paid for my breakfast. I was escorted into a small office and we all sat down.
The detective wanted to inform me that they had retrieved a hidden micro camera from the ladies room and that while I was doing my um potty business it had been recording it all. Since I had used that restroom often, I was on the camera multiple times. I felt so violated and disgusted. They said they had the guy but that he had already posted the videos of me and other women on some fetish websites. Worse was that my face could clearly be seen in some of the videos. I felt so embarrassed and dirty thinking that someone somewhere is jacking it to me while I was shitting.
They asked if I wanted to press charges and I said hell yes. I made my statements, and they said they would keep me posted on the case. The guy ended up getting some jail time and has to register as a sex offender when he is released.
This has made me avoid public restrooms whenever I can. When I have to use a public restroom I look for anything that could conceal a camera. It has been several years but I still get creeped out thinking that something so personal is out on the internet.
submitted by I have been debating whether or not to post this, but I think I should. If only to help anyone who might be going down the same road I did.
I discovered myself at a very young age. Some of my earliest memories are of touching myself during nap time in kindergarten. I always would go "take a nap" or "control my dreams" at least once or twice a day. It wasn't until I started to hit puberty that I learned what I was doing was called masturbating and that if I looked at naked women it would feel even better. So I started to steal my dads Maxim magazines and any movie that said it had nudity in it. Then one day at school I said to someone I wanted to see charecters from cartoons I liked naked. He told me there was porn of that on a thing called the internet. I was only vaguely aware of what the internet was back then. My dad had a computer but I would only play games on it like Monsters Inc pinball and Hoyle Casino. But now that I knew you could get porn on it, I knew I had to have my own.
I begged my parents to give me a computer and a cable to connect with internet. They finally gave me a laptop computer around the time when a new thing called wi-fi was introduced. We got the house set up with wi-fi and I made my first web search. It was for pokemon xxx. I fell down the rabbit hole quick. I started looking for all kinds of porn and jerking off to it. It started to become an every day habit. Come home from school, jerk off to porn then move on with my day. Throughout all of this I was dealing with depression issues. Not necessarily caused by porn, there's a genetic history of depression on my moms side of the family, but it definitely added fuel to the fire. At around Jr high through high school I started having thoughts of suicide and even made a few attempts all the while I went deeper down the rabbit hole. My porn searches started to become more extreme. Hard-core bdsm, torture, vore, guro, s&m, and eventually it just wasn't taboo enough. I needed something illegal.
I started looking at child porn.
I never took any pictures my self. But eveytime CP was posted to 4chan, I would save it before it got deleted. I downloaded a tor browser and started searching the dark web for CP. Anything to get my fix. Whats worse is that I was even active on reddit at the time and was aware of the NoFap community. I just brushed it off as a bunch of weirdos. "Who would ever want to give up porn and masturbation?" I thought.
Skip ahead to when I was about 21. My computer broke. I took it to get fixed and then a few days later when I came home from work my dad was there waiting for me. He told me to get into the truck and then told me why. He said the people I took my computer to had found child porn on it. They had reported me to the police and we were on our way to see a lawyer. He asked me how bad was it. I didn't lie. I just said "its really bad."
I spent the next year under investigation out on bond. During that time I had no computer to look at porn on. But I had a 3DS that could. I was scared that if I looked at porn at home the police would find out. So I started looking at it on public wifi and jacking off in public bathrooms and at work. I ended up loosing my job because of this. We finally went to court and I pled guilty. The judge sentenced me to 10 years of adjudicated probation. That ment that if I could go 10 years without internet porn, the felony wouldn't be on my record.
I didn't last a week.
My probation officer asked me if I was struggling with probation. I said yeah I had slipped up and looked at porn a few times. The next day I was arrested and taken to jail. I spent a year in jail waiting to be sentenced. My lawyer said they wanted 10 years prison time but we eventually signed for 6 years. I spent 3 years in prison and the entire time I spent in there I thought about how I was going to get porn when I got out. While locked up I bought pictures of porn stars to jack off tO. I started trying to learn how to draw so I could make my own porn. I borrowed penthouse forum books that circulated around. I was put in a treatment program with other Sex Offenders (Side note: because I looked at porn instead of looking for a girlfriend, I had never had sex. Still haven't. So I'm a sex offender who has never had sex) and that's when the truth really sunk in.
I had an addiction.
By the time I was released on parole I was aware of my addiction and had tools to cope with it, but I wasn't ready to give it up yet. So I kept looking for porn with the intention to slowly ween my self off it. I bought porn dvds from an adult store where I live. I bought echi manga from bookstores. I ordered penthouse forum books from a catalog. Then it came time for my annual polygraph test. The previous year I took a sexual history polygraph. So I passed it. This one was a mantinence polygraph which ment they would ask me what I had been doing on parole. They asked if had looked at porn. I lied, said no, and failed the polygraph. I came clean to my PO and she said it was okay as long as I was trying to quit. I said I was and that was the truth. I threw away all my porn and continued to attend my SOTP meetings.
Let's skip ahead to more recently. One of the conditions of my parole was that I couldn't have a phone with a camera. So I did the impossible and found a shitty flip phone with out a camera. I had that thing for 3 years before it just wouldn't recognize the cellular network anymore. I asked my PO if I could just get a cheap smartphone instead. She agreed but she would check it every month for anything inappropriate. I got my very first smartphone ever and I checked if I could access all my old online accounts after 6 years of inactivity. I could only get access to one.
My reddit porn throwaway.
I tried to get on my old main account, but it had been so long. I couldn't remember the password. I couldn't even access the old email account associated with it cause it had been deactivated do to fraudulent activity. So I made a new email and a new reddit account. I synced the throwaway to my new email and started using it to look at porn. But on my new main account the first sub reddit I subscribed to was NoFap. The storys here helped me realize its time to let go. So I deleted the only remnant of my past online life.
I wish I could say that I'm "going 90 days strong WOOO" but I'm not. My longest streak has been 4 days no porn and only 3 days no masturbation. Right now my goal is just to make it 5 days with out looking.
To any one still reading this please don't let your addiction get as bad as mine. Seek help. Now.
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