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Day 42
First post on reddit so forgive me if I’m doing anything wrong.
Ever since I’ve turned 21 and been able to gamble, I’ve been addicted. I turn 22 in two weeks and I can safely say this is the worst year of my young life, financially speaking. The things you tell yourself to justify spending $200 (or more) at the casino vs getting ahead on bills, treating yourself to new clothing, or just saving cash, is asinine. Truly one of the worst addictions one can face.
Here’s my story, hopefully it will inspire others to beat this demon.
All started on a trip to the Bahamas with my family. I’ve always been interested in gambling because of the chance of making some quick money. Problem was at this point in time, I was only 20 (month away from legal age) and figured I couldn’t enter the casino at Atlantis Resort.
“Don’t worry, the legal age to gamble here is only 18” my stepdad said.
That was all it took for me. First chance we got to go, i jumped at it. My stepdad went with me. I sat down with $100 in my hand and slid it into the video blackjack machine. I didn’t know much about blackjack but my stepdad gave me advice on what moves to make, but it didn’t matter. That $100 was gone (for both of us) in a matter of minutes. Terrible shoe, so I went and withdrew $100 more. After a ton of ups and downs we went on this crazy run as I was down to $20. Every double down, split, hit was working.....dealer breaking, and the thrill was euphoric, and I ended up leaving $40 up. I bought us both a drink celebrated. Cloud nine.
Once I turned 21, I started going to my local ho chunk casinos with my buddies, started off having small limits like $50-100, sometimes win and sometimes lose. It got to the point we were heading there 2-3 times a week, 45 minute drive each time just to get there. I didn’t care if I lost, I was truly there for the thrill. Those small limits have since been blown past to where I’m blowing half a paycheck in one sitting. At its peak, I would go down to my favorite bar after work and just sit on bar slots for hours. December 23, still haven’t bought Christmas presents for my family, I was too busy funneling $500 into a triple jack slot machine. When I lost that, I returned home (where I purposefully left my cash to NOT use) to grab my wad of $1200. Somehow, by the grace of god, I won it back and a tiny bit more. I vowed myself to never gamble again. My heart and stomach felt like they weighed 1000 pounds. Three days later, I was back.
Since that day, I definitely gambled less, until I got an urge to head down to the casino with my friend. Ended up blowing $400 in one sitting and the next week $500 in another. The feeling I felt was like no other, that walk of shame back to your car, the emptiness, the depression really creeps in.
March 2nd was the day I decided to change my life. Those two losses were the wake up call I needed. I broke down and told my girlfriend, and thankfully she was understanding and supported me. I feel great knowing that I don’t have to worry about money, that I can get return for my hard earned money with material value. It feels so damn good.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t be afraid to reach out to me.
submitted by flimsytoast to problemgambling [link] [comments]
Cruise Karen
Cruise Karen
Hello all! Got another story for you. This happened just recently as my family and I just returned from a cruise to celebrate my grandparents 50th anniversary. It was a 5 days cruise that ported out of Jacksonville, FL to the Bahamas. Out of my household, myself, my mom and my sister went, leaving my brother and dad behind. My mom’s sister and her husband brought along their 4 youngest kids and of course my grandparents, 11 of us in total. If you read my last post, this is the same family we were visiting during the Plane Karen incident.
This story will be recounting our unfortunate time with our deck neighbor Karen. At this point we should know the basic cast of characters, so I’ll only include; GP/M~ Grandpa/ ma, H ~ Karen’s “Husband” (he doesn’t really have much to add to this story) and KK ~ Karen’s Kids.
It all begins once we’re beginning to board and making our way to our room. My mom managed an extended balcony room to mine and my sister’s utter delight. Worth the extra coinage. Our door had been propped open as we were waiting for our bags to arrive, so meantime we were exploring the room. Directly across the hall, I spot a man (H) and two kids come out and briefly look into out room. Not totally weird in my book honestly. I tend to feel snoopish now and again as I walk the hall and see other doors open. He took the kids down the hall right as our luggage appeared. We unpacked and got settled, door still open a bit. I see H and kids come back with a small plate of food in hand (lunch was going on whilst people still boarded. This was around 2pm-ish). He made another glance into our room again before shutting his own door. And that was that until dinner around six, a couple of hours after we left the port into open water. I made my way to dinner first; I had to walk at a slower pace to better accommodate my foot which was not fairing well after surgery 9 months prior (read last post). As I stepped foot outside the threshold of my room, the door across from me flew open, a woman (tall, skinny, blonde blue eyes) looked my up and down and gave me one of those looks. Like something was amiss to her, before she muttered a “Hello” before walking down the hall. And it was at that time I noticed a couple plates of leftover food and utensils sitting by our door. We hadn’t eaten yet, so I knew this wasn’t ours. I brushed it off and left for the dining hall.
After dinner, all three of us came back down our hall to find the same women knocking on our door. My mom got her attention with an “Hello, can we help you?” The women jumped a bit then put on her biggest smile.
K: “Hello! We’re directly across from you and I was hoping to ask you for a favor?” By this time, we made it to our door, and I told my sister to go inside, and as she did so, giving the woman a look inside our room. she continued.
K: “It’s our first cruise and I am not to familiar with the boats. So, when we were booking, we didn’t know about the balcony rooms. And then I noticed you have a balcony and..” my mom cut her off.
M: “So, what’s your favor? You need tips on how to book a balcony for next time?” my mom was tired after dinner and it had been a long day. She didn’t want to deal with this. The women shook her head.
K: “Oh no, no, no. I was hoping you’d switch rooms with us, so I can give my kids a great experience on their first cruise. It shouldn’t be a problem. See, your cards are red, so you’ve cruised before and know what a balcony feels like. What do you say” I actually snort laughed at her “idea” to which my mom shooed me into the room, looked to Karen and said with the fakest of smiles, “No thank you. Have a goodnight and a lovely vacation.” and shut the door. I bust out laughing. She looked so sure and confident that this would work. Without going over the entire reasoning as to why this wouldn’t work, she totally didn’t think this whole thing through.
Later in the evening I had gotten hungry again and ordered room service. As my food arrived and I opened the door to let the attendant in, on cue, the woman and H came out of their rooms dressed all fancy, then she spotted me and narrowed her eyes at me, to which I snort chuckled, thanked the attendant and closed to door in her face. And that, my friends was just the beginning of Cruise Karen.
She began her tirade of petty nuisances the first sea day (Day 1), when after my family had gotten back to our rooms after breakfast, she’d come out of her room and just give us mean looks and “humphed” her tired ass down the hall with her family. The maybe after 15 or so minutes, they would return with so much food, 1 to 2 plates a person. We’d always open our door to a suspicious big pile of dirty dishes next to our door. We knew it was them and I think she thought that she could make us out to look like pigs/ slobs or something for always have a mass of dishes. Thankfully, our steward, made his rounds more frequently than others, and always picked them up in a timely manner. Later in the day, we received notice that someone was complaining about noise and the smell of cigarettes being smoked across the hall. If I'm honest, these room are nearly soundproof wall to wall. You seldom hear anything unless you actually walk outside your room, and barely anything there still. We knew. And nothing came of it.
I had gone to sunbathe on the Lido Deck towards the back of the boat. I had found a nice secluded spot near the back, in a corner. I had been there about 20-ish minutes when I felt the spritz of water fall on me. There was not a cloud in the sky and the waterslide was far away enough water couldn’t touch me. It was then I had noticed two familiar children running away from my direction and towards a chair with someone in it. It was her kids. And no later had I recognized them, with their huge water guns, had the Karen peeked around her chair, lifting her shades a bit to see me. She zipped back around the second we made eye contact. I stood my ground and continued to sunbathe, not willing to give up a prime spot for soaking in that Vitamin D. The sun has a way of relaxing you and making you sleepy. I had my shades on and pretty much laid lifeless for the most part. This led to Karen to probably believing I had fallen asleep and shooed her kids over towards me again, but before they could do anything, my mom had shown up and “yelled” at them the scram. They did and ran to Karen, whom shot us multiple glares, but never said anything and that was the end of that. My mom took the chair up beside me and we sat there for a little over two hours. At least twice more that day, we found more piles of dishes by our door and later that night, Karen tried to discreetly get me in trouble by telling the bouncer of the night club that I had snuck in and was underaged. Karen was still not too bright as our room cards have a barcode employee’s scan that display our names and ages as displayed on our passports. So of course, nothing came of this and I stayed. I even ordered a large alcoholic beverage and saluted Karen on the dance floor. She huffed and stomped away.
The next day (Day 2), we ported into Paradise Island. Bahamas. Myself, my mom and my sister made our way off the boat and onto the ferry that takes you from Nassau to Paradise Island. S/N: Our grandparents own two timeshare properties on PI, right next door to the Atlantis Resort, and they are granted full access passes every year to the Atlantis Waterpark and its' multiple aquariums, whenever they go. Our family has experienced the Bahamas three times and were familiar with the territory/ process. Our GP’s opted to tour the city, so we were allowed to use said passes. Upon getting there, we enter in through the casino to get through to the first part of the aquarium. When we get to the threshold (there’s always a guard checking for Atlantis passes at this point. No passes and/ or ticket, no entry. Simple.), there’s Karen and her family. She’s trying her best not to make a scene, but she looks angry. As we grew closer, we could hear their conversation. She wants entry into the water park but has no pass or ticket. None of them do. They assumed it came free with the cruise. The guard explains plainly, no ticket, no entry. Karen ranted some more, the guard ignored her at that point. We made our way to the guard and flashed our passes; the guard smiles at us and starts to move aside. Karen noticed this immediately and her face contorted in fury, then just as quickly scheming. Karen was not a creature of subtlety, as the guard moved to let us by, Karen tried to shove her kids into us.
K: “We’re actually with them. They know us from the cruise and can vouch for us. Hey. Hey! May we use those passes too? My kids deserve to experience this. Come on.” she pleaded, and it was rather pathetic, yet bold of her to try and pass this in front of the guard who obviously wasn’t buying it. My mom laughed and we kept walking. Karen kept screaming how this was unfair and that we somehow stole her passes, even though she just told the guard she thought it was free. Our day goes on and we have a great time. I have pictures/ videos if anyone would like to see. We had to be back on the boat by 4pm before the boat left by 5, so we start our way back at 3:30. We ported out of the Bahamas, and the rest of the evening was peaceful.
The next day (Day 3), we docked in The Princess Cays and took my little cousin with us. I spotted Karen a few times on the far side of the beach as we swam and sunbathed on the other, I don’t know if she saw us too, but nothing was had that day either. On the second sea day (Day 4), I decided to stay in the room most the day to recuperate from the swimming and sun from the days prior. I was exhausted. I was taking naps whenever during the day, having only left the room for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My mom had gone out with her sister for the evening and my sister was out at the deck party. My twin cousins stopped by to enjoy the balcony for a bit and just hang out. About 8 in the evening, there was a knock. I got up thinking it was my room service I had ordered (don’t shame me, room service is great and the food is damn good). Nope. Karen; all dolled up and fancy with her two kids. I muttered an, “Oh my god” before asking if I could help her. Karen, with one of those irked looks on her face braves a fake ass smile.
K: “Yes hi, I need someone to watch my kids so my husband and I can go out for our last night on this ship. I thought you wouldn’t mind since you’re not doing anything AND caused us that trouble in the Bahamas and embarrassed me in front of all those people. You owe us this much.” She started to push her kids slowly to the door, telling them that Mommy and Daddy would see them in a couple hours. I’m terrible at guessing kids ages, but they came up to barely must waist, and I’m 4’11’’. I blocked the door, and I could see she was getting furious.
M: “Okay, listen. This is getting so ridiculous. We don’t owe you or your privileged family anything. It’s really sad to see a grown woman act like a spoiled brat just because she lacked the knowledge to plan ahead and book the room she wanted, and NOW must try to sabotage my family’s vacation and my good time. I am not having it. You are not leaving your kids with me. A stranger, no less. What kind of parent are you? What normal person does this?” I whisper shouted at her. I was done with her bs. I was tired, sunburned and suffering a bit of heat exhaustion. Though I looked and felt like shiz, I sure as hell was not about to take this. Karen just stared, mouth agape trying to come up with some retort. At that moment, my cousins came in outside from the balcony, and it was at that Karen thought she had leverage.
K: “Well then, who are they!? Why do they get to spend time on the balcony and my kids can’t? This isn’t fair! You are going to watch my kids. You will! You will! Or I’m going to complain!” I rebutted,
M: “I owe you nothing. They are here for the simple fact that they're family and welcome in here. You are not welcome. Take your kids back to your own sad little room and I will be launching a complaint for your constant harassment.” I close the door. Karen placed a hard hit to our door before huffing out a long roar before storming off and her kids crying. I told my mom what happened, and we did make a complaint. I don’t know what happened to Karen and her family after that. We didn’t see nor hear of or from them for the rest of that night, or the next morning when we ported into Jacksonville. Aside from our adventures with her, this was a great vacation and one I got to take with the side of the family I rarely see. This story was told to my Aunt and Uncle, and they made a point to ask if my mom and I just have bad luck with such encounters with these people. We laughed about it; Mom: “Let’s hope to universe gives us a break. I really wanted to knock her ass out.” We all left and went our separate ways for now as our grandparents took us to the airport.
……. then on the way the to the airport, who should we see?
Not Karen, but a crazy cracked out lady in a white pickup that tried to cause damage to her own car and blame my grandpa for it. But that’s another story. 😊
submitted by DarkkAmethyst913 to MrReddit [link] [comments]
Cruise Karen
Cruise Karen
Hello all! Got another story for you. This happened just recently as my family and I just returned from a cruise to celebrate my grandparents 50th anniversary. It was a 5 days cruise that ported out of Jacksonville, FL to the Bahamas. Out of my household, myself, my mom and my sister went, leaving my brother and dad behind. My mom’s sister and her husband brought along their 4 youngest kids and of course my grandparents, 11 of us in total. If you read my last post, this is the same family we were visiting during the Plane Karen incident.
This story will be recounting our unfortunate time with our deck neighbor Karen. At this point we should know the basic cast of characters, so I’ll only include; GP/M~ Grandpa/ ma, H ~ Karen’s “Husband” (he doesn’t really have much to add to this story) and KK ~ Karen’s Kids.
It all begins once we’re beginning to board and making our way to our room. My mom managed an extended balcony room to mine and my sister’s utter delight. Worth the extra coinage. Our door had been propped open as we were waiting for our bags to arrive, so meantime we were exploring the room. Directly across the hall, I spot a man (H) and two kids come out and briefly look into out room. Not totally weird in my book honestly. I tend to feel snoopish now and again as I walk the hall and see other doors open. He took the kids down the hall right as our luggage appeared. We unpacked and got settled, door still open a bit. I see H and kids come back with a small plate of food in hand (lunch was going on whilst people still boarded. This was around 2pm-ish). He made another glance into our room again before shutting his own door. And that was that until dinner around six, a couple of hours after we left the port into open water. I made my way to dinner first; I had to walk at a slower pace to better accommodate my foot which was not fairing well after surgery 9 months prior (read last post). As I stepped foot outside the threshold of my room, the door across from me flew open, a woman (tall, skinny, blonde blue eyes) looked my up and down and gave me one of those looks. Like something was amiss to her, before she muttered a “Hello” before walking down the hall. And it was at that time I noticed a couple plates of leftover food and utensils sitting by our door. We hadn’t eaten yet, so I knew this wasn’t ours. I brushed it off and left for the dining hall.
After dinner, all three of us came back down our hall to find the same women knocking on our door. My mom got her attention with an “Hello, can we help you?” The women jumped a bit then put on her biggest smile.
K: “Hello! We’re directly across from you and I was hoping to ask you for a favor?” By this time, we made it to our door, and I told my sister to go inside, and as she did so, giving the woman a look inside our room. she continued.
K: “It’s our first cruise and I am not to familiar with the boats. So, when we were booking, we didn’t know about the balcony rooms. And then I noticed you have a balcony and..” my mom cut her off. “So, what’s your favor? You need tips on how to book a balcony for next time?” my mom was tired after dinner and it had been a long day. She didn’t want to deal with this. The women shook her head, “Oh no, no, no. I was hoping you’d switch rooms with us, so I can give my kids a great experience on their first cruise. It shouldn’t be a problem. See, your cards are red, so you’ve cruised before and know what a balcony feels like. What do you say” I actually snort laughed at her “idea” to which my mom shooed me into the room, looked to Karen and said with the fakest of smiles, “No thank you. Have a goodnight and a lovely vacation.” and shut the door. I bust out laughing. She looked so sure and confident that this would work. Without going over the entire reasoning as to why this wouldn’t work, she totally didn’t think this whole thing through.
Later in the evening I had gotten hungry again and ordered room service. As my food arrived and I opened the door to let the attendant in, on cue, the woman and H came out of their rooms dressed all fancy, then she spotted me and narrowed her eyes at me, to which I snort chuckled, thanked the attendant and closed to door in her face. And that, my friends was just the beginning of Cruise Karen.
She began her tirade of petty nuisances the first sea day (Day 1), when after my family had gotten back to our rooms after breakfast, she’d come out of her room and just give us mean looks and “humphed” her tired ass down the hall with her family. The maybe after 15 or so minutes, would return with so much food. We’d always open our door to a suspicious big pile of dirty dishes next to our door. We knew it was them and I think she thought that she could make us out to look like pigs/ slobs or something for always have a mass of dishes. Thankfully, our steward, made his rounds more frequently than others, and always picked them up in a timely manner. Later in the day, we received notice that someone was complaining about noise and the smell of cigarettes being smoked across the hall. We knew. Nothing came of it. I had gone to sunbathe on the Lido Deck towards the back of the boat. I had found a nice secluded spot near the back, in a corner. I had been there about 20ish minutes when I felt the spritz of water fall on me. There was not a cloud in the sky and the waterslide was far away enough water couldn’t touch me. It was then I had noticed two familiar children running away from my direction and towards a chair with someone in it. It was her kids. And no later had I recognized them, with their huge water guns, had the Karen peeked around her chair, lifting her shades a bit to see me. She zipped back around the second we made eye contact. I stood my ground and continued to sunbathe, not willing to give up a prime spot for soaking in that Vitamin D. The sun has a way of relaxing you and making you sleepy. I had my shades on and pretty much laid lifeless for the most part. This led to Karen to probably believing I had fallen asleep and shooed her kids over towards me again, but before they could do anything, my mom had shown up and “yelled” at them the scram. They did and ran to Karen, whom shot us multiple glares, but never said anything and that was the end of that. My mom took the chair up beside me and we sat there for a little over two hours. At least twice more that day, we found more piles of dishes by our door and later that night, Karen tried to discreetly get me in trouble by telling the bouncer of the night club that I had snuck in and was underaged. Karen was still not too bright as our room cards have a barcode employee’s scan that display our names and ages as displayed on our passports. So of course, nothing came of this and I stayed. I even ordered a large alcoholic beverage and saluted Karen on the dance floor. She huffed and stomped away.
The next day, we ported into Paradise Island. Bahamas. Myself, my mom and my sister made our way off the boat and onto the ferry that takes you from Nassau to Paradise Island. S/N: Our grandparents own two timeshare properties on PI, right next door to the Atlantis Resort, and they are granted full access passes every years to the Atlantis Waterpark and multiple aquariums, whenever they go. Our family has experienced the Bahamas three times and were familiar with the territory/ process. Our GP’s opted to tour the city, so we were allowed said passes for free access into the waterpark and aquarium. Upon getting there, we enter in through the casino to get through to the first part of the aquarium. When we get to the threshold (there’s always a guard checking for Atlantis passes at this point. No passes and/ or ticket, no entry. Simple.), there’s Karen and her family. She’s trying her best not to make a scene, but she looks angry. As we grew closer, we could hear their conversation. She wants entry into the water park but has no pass or ticket. None of them do. They assumed it came free with the cruise. The guard explains plainly, no ticket, no entry. Karen ranted some more, the guard ignored her at that point. We made our way to the guard and flashed our passes. Karen noticed this immediately and her face contorted in fury, then just as quickly scheming. Karen was not a creature of subtlety, as the guard moved to let us by, Karen tried to shove her kids into us.
K: “We’re actually with them. They know us from the cruise and can vouch for us. Hey. Hey! May we use those passes too? My kids deserve to experience this. Come on.” she pleaded, and it was rather pathetic, yet bold of her to try and pass this in front of the guard who obviously wasn’t buying it. My mom laughed and we kept walking. Karen kept screaming how this was unfair and that we somehow stole her passes, even though she just told the guard she thought it was free. Our day goes on and we have a great time. I have pictures/ videos if anyone would like to see. We had to be back on the boat by 4pm before the boat left by 5, so we start our way back at 3:30. We ported out of the Bahamas, and the rest of the evening was peaceful. The next day, we docked in The Princess Cays and took my little cousin with us. I spotted Karen a few times on the far side of the beach as we swam and sunbathed on the other, I don’t know if she saw us too, but nothing was had that day either. On the second sea day (Day 4), I decided to stay in the room most the day to recuperate from the swimming and sun. I was exhausted. My twin cousins stopped by to enjoy the balcony for a bit and just hang out. About 8 in the evening, there was a knock. I got up thinking it was my room service I had ordered (don’t shame me, room service is great and the food is damn good). Nope. Karen; all dolled up and fancy with her two kids. I muttered an, “Oh my god” before asking if I could help her. Karen, with one of those irked looks on her face braves a fake ass smile.
K: “Excuse me, I need someone to watch my kids so my husband and I can go out for our last night on this ship. I thought you wouldn’t mind since you’re not doing anything AND caused us that trouble in the Bahamas and embarrassed me in front of all those people. You owe us this much.” She started to push her kids slowly to the door, telling them that Mommy and Daddy would see them in a couple hours. I’m terrible at guessing kids ages, but they came up to barely must waist, and I’m 4’11’’. I blocked the door, and I could see she was getting furious.
M: “Okay, listen. This is getting so ridiculous. We don’t owe you or your privileged family anything. It’s really sad to see a grown woman act like a spoiled brat just because she lacked the knowledge to plan ahead and book the room she wanted, and NOW must try to sabotage my family’s vacation and my good time. I am not having it. You are not leaving your kids with me. A stranger, no less. What kind of parent are you? What normal person does this?” I whisper shouted at her. I was done with her bs. I was tired, sunburned and suffering a bit of heat exhaustion. Though I looked and felt like shiz, I sure as hell was not about to take this. Karen just stared, mouth agape trying to come up with some retort. At that moment, my cousins came in outside from the balcony, and it was at that Karen thought she had leverage.
K: “Well then, who are they!? Why do they get to spend time on the balcony and my kids can’t? This isn’t fair! You are going to watch my kids. You will! You will! Or I’m going to complain!” I rebutted, “I owe you nothing. They are here for the simple fact that they're family and welcome in here. You are not welcome. Take your kids back to your own sad little room and I will be launching a complaint for your constant harassment.” I close the door. Karen placed a hard hit to our door before huffing out a long roar before storming off and her kids crying. I told my mom what happened, and we did make a complaint. I don’t know what happened to Karen and her family after that. We didn’t see nor hear of or from them for the rest of that night, or the next morning when we ported into Jacksonville. Aside from our adventures with her, this was a great vacation and one I got to take with the side of the family I rarely see. This story was told to my Aunt and Uncle, and they made a point to ask if my mom and I just have bad luck with such encounters with these people. We laughed about it; Mom: “Let’s hope to universe gives us a break. I really wanted to knock her ass out.” We all left and went our separate ways for now as our grandparents took us to the airport.
……. then on the way the to the airport, who should we see?
Not Karen, but a crazy cracked out lady in a white pickup that tried to cause damage to her own car and blame my grandpa for it. But that’s another story. 😊
submitted by DarkkAmethyst913 to VoiceyHere [link] [comments]
Cruise Karen
Cruise Karen
Hello all! Got another story for you. This happened just recently as my family and I just returned from a cruise to celebrate my grandparents 50th anniversary. It was a 5 days cruise that ported out of Jacksonville, FL to the Bahamas. Out of my household, myself, my mom and my sister went, leaving my brother and dad behind. My mom’s sister and her husband brought along their 4 youngest kids and of course my grandparents, 11 of us in total. If you read my last post, this is the same family we were visiting during the Plane Karen incident.
This story will be recounting our unfortunate time with our deck neighbor Karen. At this point we should know the basic cast of characters, so I’ll only include; GP/M~ Grandpa/ ma, H ~ Karen’s “Husband” (he doesn’t really have much to add to this story) and KK ~ Karen’s Kids.
It all begins once we’re beginning to board and making our way to our room. My mom managed an extended balcony room to mine and my sister’s utter delight. Worth the extra coinage. Our door had been propped open as we were waiting for our bags to arrive, so meantime we were exploring the room. Directly across the hall, I spot a man (H) and two kids come out and briefly look into out room. Not totally weird in my book honestly. I tend to feel snoopish now and again as I walk the hall and see other doors open. He took the kids down the hall right as our luggage appeared. We unpacked and got settled, door still open a bit. I see H and kids come back with a small plate of food in hand (lunch was going on whilst people still boarded. This was around 2pm-ish). He made another glance into our room again before shutting his own door. And that was that until dinner around six, a couple of hours after we left the port into open water. I made my way to dinner first; I had to walk at a slower pace to better accommodate my foot which was not fairing well after surgery 9 months prior (read last post). As I stepped foot outside the threshold of my room, the door across from me flew open, a woman (tall, skinny, blonde blue eyes) looked my up and down and gave me one of those looks. Like something was amiss to her, before she muttered a “Hello” before walking down the hall. And it was at that time I noticed a couple plates of leftover food and utensils sitting by our door. We hadn’t eaten yet, so I knew this wasn’t ours. I brushed it off and left for the dining hall.
After dinner, all three of us came back down our hall to find the same women knocking on our door. My mom got her attention with an “Hello, can we help you?” The women jumped a bit then put on her biggest smile.
K: “Hello! We’re directly across from you and I was hoping to ask you for a favor?” By this time, we made it to our door, and I told my sister to go inside, and as she did so, giving the woman a look inside our room. she continued.
K: “It’s our first cruise and I am not to familiar with the boats. So, when we were booking, we didn’t know about the balcony rooms. And then I noticed you have a balcony and..” my mom cut her off.
M: “So, what’s your favor? You need tips on how to book a balcony for next time?” my mom was tired after dinner and it had been a long day. She didn’t want to deal with this. The women shook her head.
K: “Oh no, no, no. I was hoping you’d switch rooms with us, so I can give my kids a great experience on their first cruise. It shouldn’t be a problem. See, your cards are red, so you’ve cruised before and know what a balcony feels like. What do you say” I actually snort laughed at her “idea” to which my mom shooed me into the room, looked to Karen and said with the fakest of smiles, “No thank you. Have a goodnight and a lovely vacation.” and shut the door. I bust out laughing. She looked so sure and confident that this would work. Without going over the entire reasoning as to why this wouldn’t work, she totally didn’t think this whole thing through.
Later in the evening I had gotten hungry again and ordered room service. As my food arrived and I opened the door to let the attendant in, on cue, the woman and H came out of their rooms dressed all fancy, then she spotted me and narrowed her eyes at me, to which I snort chuckled, thanked the attendant and closed to door in her face. And that, my friends was just the beginning of Cruise Karen.
She began her tirade of petty nuisances the first sea day (Day 1), when after my family had gotten back to our rooms after breakfast, she’d come out of her room and just give us mean looks and “humphed” her tired ass down the hall with her family. The maybe after 15 or so minutes, they would return with so much food, 1 to 2 plates a person. We’d always open our door to a suspicious big pile of dirty dishes next to our door. We knew it was them and I think she thought that she could make us out to look like pigs/ slobs or something for always have a mass of dishes. Thankfully, our steward, made his rounds more frequently than others, and always picked them up in a timely manner. Later in the day, we received notice that someone was complaining about noise and the smell of cigarettes being smoked across the hall. If I'm honest, these room are nearly soundproof wall to wall. You seldom hear anything unless you actually walk outside your room, and barely anything there still. We knew. And nothing came of it.
I had gone to sunbathe on the Lido Deck towards the back of the boat. I had found a nice secluded spot near the back, in a corner. I had been there about 20-ish minutes when I felt the spritz of water fall on me. There was not a cloud in the sky and the waterslide was far away enough water couldn’t touch me. It was then I had noticed two familiar children running away from my direction and towards a chair with someone in it. It was her kids. And no later had I recognized them, with their huge water guns, had the Karen peeked around her chair, lifting her shades a bit to see me. She zipped back around the second we made eye contact. I stood my ground and continued to sunbathe, not willing to give up a prime spot for soaking in that Vitamin D. The sun has a way of relaxing you and making you sleepy. I had my shades on and pretty much laid lifeless for the most part. This led to Karen to probably believing I had fallen asleep and shooed her kids over towards me again, but before they could do anything, my mom had shown up and “yelled” at them the scram. They did and ran to Karen, whom shot us multiple glares, but never said anything and that was the end of that. My mom took the chair up beside me and we sat there for a little over two hours. At least twice more that day, we found more piles of dishes by our door and later that night, Karen tried to discreetly get me in trouble by telling the bouncer of the night club that I had snuck in and was underaged. Karen was still not too bright as our room cards have a barcode employee’s scan that display our names and ages as displayed on our passports. So of course, nothing came of this and I stayed. I even ordered a large alcoholic beverage and saluted Karen on the dance floor. She huffed and stomped away.
The next day (Day 2), we ported into Paradise Island. Bahamas. Myself, my mom and my sister made our way off the boat and onto the ferry that takes you from Nassau to Paradise Island. S/N: Our grandparents own two timeshare properties on PI, right next door to the Atlantis Resort, and they are granted full access passes every year to the Atlantis Waterpark and its' multiple aquariums, whenever they go. Our family has experienced the Bahamas three times and were familiar with the territory/ process. Our GP’s opted to tour the city, so we were allowed to use said passes. Upon getting there, we enter in through the casino to get through to the first part of the aquarium. When we get to the threshold (there’s always a guard checking for Atlantis passes at this point. No passes and/ or ticket, no entry. Simple.), there’s Karen and her family. She’s trying her best not to make a scene, but she looks angry. As we grew closer, we could hear their conversation. She wants entry into the water park but has no pass or ticket. None of them do. They assumed it came free with the cruise. The guard explains plainly, no ticket, no entry. Karen ranted some more, the guard ignored her at that point. We made our way to the guard and flashed our passes; the guard smiles at us and starts to move aside. Karen noticed this immediately and her face contorted in fury, then just as quickly scheming. Karen was not a creature of subtlety, as the guard moved to let us by, Karen tried to shove her kids into us.
K: “We’re actually with them. They know us from the cruise and can vouch for us. Hey. Hey! May we use those passes too? My kids deserve to experience this. Come on.” she pleaded, and it was rather pathetic, yet bold of her to try and pass this in front of the guard who obviously wasn’t buying it. My mom laughed and we kept walking. Karen kept screaming how this was unfair and that we somehow stole her passes, even though she just told the guard she thought it was free. Our day goes on and we have a great time. I have pictures/ videos if anyone would like to see. We had to be back on the boat by 4pm before the boat left by 5, so we start our way back at 3:30. We ported out of the Bahamas, and the rest of the evening was peaceful.
The next day (Day 3), we docked in The Princess Cays and took my little cousin with us. I spotted Karen a few times on the far side of the beach as we swam and sunbathed on the other, I don’t know if she saw us too, but nothing was had that day either. On the second sea day (Day 4), I decided to stay in the room most the day to recuperate from the swimming and sun from the days prior. I was exhausted. I was taking naps whenever during the day, having only left the room for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My mom had gone out with her sister for the evening and my sister was out at the deck party. My twin cousins stopped by to enjoy the balcony for a bit and just hang out. About 8 in the evening, there was a knock. I got up thinking it was my room service I had ordered (don’t shame me, room service is great and the food is damn good). Nope. Karen; all dolled up and fancy with her two kids. I muttered an, “Oh my god” before asking if I could help her. Karen, with one of those irked looks on her face braves a fake ass smile.
K: “Yes hi, I need someone to watch my kids so my husband and I can go out for our last night on this ship. I thought you wouldn’t mind since you’re not doing anything AND caused us that trouble in the Bahamas and embarrassed me in front of all those people. You owe us this much.” She started to push her kids slowly to the door, telling them that Mommy and Daddy would see them in a couple hours. I’m terrible at guessing kids ages, but they came up to barely must waist, and I’m 4’11’’. I blocked the door, and I could see she was getting furious.
M: “Okay, listen. This is getting so ridiculous. We don’t owe you or your privileged family anything. It’s really sad to see a grown woman act like a spoiled brat just because she lacked the knowledge to plan ahead and book the room she wanted, and NOW must try to sabotage my family’s vacation and my good time. I am not having it. You are not leaving your kids with me. A stranger, no less. What kind of parent are you? What normal person does this?” I whisper shouted at her. I was done with her bs. I was tired, sunburned and suffering a bit of heat exhaustion. Though I looked and felt like shiz, I sure as hell was not about to take this. Karen just stared, mouth agape trying to come up with some retort. At that moment, my cousins came in outside from the balcony, and it was at that Karen thought she had leverage.
K: “Well then, who are they!? Why do they get to spend time on the balcony and my kids can’t? This isn’t fair! You are going to watch my kids. You will! You will! Or I’m going to complain!” I rebutted,
M: “I owe you nothing. They are here for the simple fact that they're family and welcome in here. You are not welcome. Take your kids back to your own sad little room and I will be launching a complaint for your constant harassment.” I close the door. Karen placed a hard hit to our door before huffing out a long roar before storming off and her kids crying. I told my mom what happened, and we did make a complaint. I don’t know what happened to Karen and her family after that. We didn’t see nor hear of or from them for the rest of that night, or the next morning when we ported into Jacksonville. Aside from our adventures with her, this was a great vacation and one I got to take with the side of the family I rarely see. This story was told to my Aunt and Uncle, and they made a point to ask if my mom and I just have bad luck with such encounters with these people. We laughed about it; Mom: “Let’s hope to universe gives us a break. I really wanted to knock her ass out.” We all left and went our separate ways for now as our grandparents took us to the airport.
……. then on the way the to the airport, who should we see?
Not Karen, but a crazy cracked out lady in a white pickup that tried to cause damage to her own car and blame my grandpa for it. But that’s another story. 😊
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Freddy Fusion
Freddy Fusion tours the globe sharing his unique sense of visual humour while engaging all ages in to this amazing fusion of science and magic. He has been one of the most sought after educators with clients like Disney Cruise Line, Atlantis Casino and Resort in the Bahamas to name a few. For more booking information visit
www.fusiontalentgroup.com and speak with Andrew Pogson
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bored
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Benjamin Benji Benny Benoist bent Bentley Bentleys Benz benzene benzine Beowulf bequeath bequeathable bequeathed bequeather bequeathing bequeaths bequest bereavement bereft beret berets Berg Bergen Berger Bergkamp berk Berkhamsted Berkshire Berle Berlin Berliner Berlioz Bermondsey Bermuda Bernadette Bernard Bernhard Bernice Bernie Bernoldi Bernoulli Bert Bertha Bertie Bertillion Bertolt Bertram Bertrand Berwick Beryl beryllium beset beshrew beshrewed beshrewing beshrews Bess Bessie best bestows bet beta Betamax Betelgeuse Beth Bethany Bethesda Bethlehem Bethnal Bethnal Green bethnalgreen Betjeman betook betray bets Betsy Bettina Betty Beulah Beveridge Beverley Beverly bevvies bevvy bevy beweep Bexhill Bezier beziers BFG bhajis Bhutan Bhutani Bhutto Biafra Biarritz bibilographic Bicester bicyclist Bideford Bidmead big bigamy Bigfoot biggest Biggins Biggleswade Bigglesworth Biggs Bignor bigotry Bilbao Bilbo Billericay billets Billie Billingham Billingsgate Billingshurst billion billionaire billionaires billions billionth billows bills Billy Biloxi Binatone Bing Bingham biologist biosciences Birdham birds birdscarer birdseed birdwatching Birkenhead Birkhamsted Birmingham birthplace Birtwistle bisexual bisexuals bishop bishopric Bismark Bissett bitching bitterest Bixby bizarre bizarrely bizarreness Bizet Bjarne Bjork blab blacken blacklist blacklists Blackpool blacks blacksmith blacksmiths blacktail blackwash blackwashed blackwashes blackwashing bladder bladdered blade blades blag blagged blagger blaggers blah Blair Blaise Blake Blamire Blanchet blandly blaspheme blasphemous blasphemously blast blatently Blenheim Blenkinsop Bletchley blimp blindfolded blissfully blister blistered blockaded blockading blockages blockings Bloemfontein Bloodnok bloodsucking Bloomsbury blow blowfish blowjob blowjobs blubber bludgeoning bludgeons blue bluebell bluebells blueberry bluebird blueish bluesy blunder blunderbuss blunders blunt blunted blunter bluntly blur blurb blurbs blurp blurred blurring blurry blurs blurt blurted blurting blurts blush blushes bluster blusters blustery Blyth Blythe BMW boardrooms boast Boateng Bobby Bochum Bodmin Boeing boffin Bogart bogey bogging boggling Bognor Bogota bogusly Boillot Boise Bolam Bolero Boleyn Bolivar Bolivia Bolivian bollixed Bollywood bolognese Bolsover bolstered boltgun Bolton bolts bomb Bombadil Bombadillo bombards bombast Bombay bonanza Bonaparte bondsperson boneheads bongo bonk Bonn bonsai bonuses boogie bookmaking bookshelf Boole Boolean Booleans boomerang boomerangs boon boondocks boondoggle Boosey boost booth Boothferry booths booting bootlaces Bootle bootleg bootleggers bootlegs Bordeaux Borehamwood Borgia Borgias Boris Borland Borneo boron Boroughbridge borrowed borrowers borrowing borrowings borscht Bosch Bosham Bosnia Bosnian Bosnich Bostaph Boston Bostonians Bostrom Bostwick Bosworth botanist botches Botswana Botticelli Boudicca Boulogne boundedness Bournemouth Bovis bowdlerization Bowery Bowie Bowness bows bowsprit box boxy boy boycott boycotted boycotting boycotts Boyzone bozo bozoness bozos bra Brabham Bracklesham Bracknell Brad Bradfield Bradford Bradley Bradman Bradshaw Brady brag braggadocio braggart braggartism bragged bragger braggers bragging braggingly brags brahman Brahms Braille Braintree brainwash Braithwaite brander Brando bratwurst Brauchitsch Braun Braunton bravest brazen Brazil Brazilian Brazilians Brazzaville bread breadbox breadcrumb breads breadthless breakfast breakouts breast breasts breathes Brechin Brecht Breckenridge Bremen Brenda Brendan Brennan Breslaw Brest Brett Breville Brezhnev Bridget Bridlington Bridport briefest Brigid Brillo Brisbane briskly bristly British Britishness brittleness broadens broadsheets Broderbund brogues broiler brokenly brolley bromide Bronx Brooking Bros brothel browbeat brown Browne Bruce Brucie Brundle Bryony Buchan Bucharest Budapest budgerigars Budweiser buff bufferable Buford bugaboo Bugatti bugbears bugfixed bugfixes buggeration bugginess Buglass bugle bugleboy bugler buglet buglets Bulgariabulkiest bullion bullshit bunched bunching bungled Bunsen BUPA bureaucratically burglars burritos burstier bushed Bushnell busied busk butchered Butlins buttermilk buyers buzby buzzard buzzards buzzcocks Byelorussia Byrne cab cabbie caber cack Cadbury Caddick caddyless Cadell Cadiz Caerphilly caesium Cagney Cairns cakewalk Calais calcium Calcutta Caldera Calderdale Caleb Caledonia Caledonian Caledonians calendar calendrical calf calfed Calgary Calhoun Caliban calico California Californian Californians Caligari Callaghan Callahan Callas callbacks calligraphic calligraphy Calum Calvert Calvin calypso Camberwell cambric camcorder Camden camel Camelot camels camembert Cameroon Camilla Camille camomile Campari Campbell Canada Canadian Canadians Canaria Canarias Canaveral Canberra cancellers Candace Candice candidacy candy canister cannery Cannes cannibals canonicalizes cant cantaloupe cantankerous cantata Canterbury Canton Cantona Cantonese Canuck Canucks canyon canyons capacitated Capaldi capella caper capers capon Capone Capra capriciously captioned car Caracciola caramel caramels carbohydrates carbon carbonaceous carbonara carbonate carbonated carbonation carbonisation carbonise carbonised carbons carboxylic carbureted carburetor carburetors carcass carcasses carcinogenicity carcinogens card cardamom cardboard cardboards carded cardholder cardiac Cardiff Cardigan Cardiganshire cardiogenic cardiological cardiologist cardiologists cardiology cardiopulmonary cardiotheatre cardiovasclar cardiovascular caregiver caregivers caregiving carets Carfax Caribbean caries Carisbrooke Carl Carla Carlisle Carlo Carlos Carlsberg Carly Carlyle Carman Carmarthenshire Carmen Carmichael Carnaby carnally Carnarvon carnation carnet carnivore carnivores carnivorous Carol Carole Carolina Caroline carols Carolyn carouse carousel carp carpal Carraciola Carrera Carrickfergus Carrie carrierless Carrol Carroll carrot carrots carry carrying carryings carryout carryovers cars Carshalton cartesian Cartier cartographers cartographically cartography cartoon cartoonists cartoons cartouches cartridge cartridges carts cartwheels Caruso carve carved carver carvery carves Carvey carving carvings Caryl Casablanca caseless cash cashmere Casimir casino Casio casket Caspian Cassidy Cassiopeia Casterbridge Castilian castling Castro cat Catalan catalog Catalunya catalysing catalysts catastrophical catatonic Cate categorisation catenating Caterham caterpillar catfish Catford Catherine Catherines catheterization Cathie cathode Cathryn Cathy cation cations Catrina Catriona Caucasian cauliflower cautiousness Cavanagh Caxton Cayman Cecil Cecile Cecilia Cecily cedar cedars cedes cedilla Cedric Ceefax celeb Celeron celery Celeste Celia Celine Cellnet cello Celsius Celt Celtic Celts cembalino cent Centauri centenary centennial center centime centiminutes centipede centipedes Centrica Centronics cents century CEO cerebral cerebrospinal CERN certifiable certifier certifiers cerulean Cesar cesses Cessna Ceylon Cezanne CFO Chablis chaffinch chaffinches Chaim chalice chalking chamberlain chameleon chamomile champagne championed Chan Chandler Chandrashekar Chaney changings Chantal chanter chants Chapelthorpe Chapeltown Chaplin Chapman chapter char charade Chardonnay Charing Cross charingcross Charlene Charles Charlotte Charnley Charron chartering Charteris charts chary chassis chastising chatback Chatsworth Chattanooga Chatterley chattiness chatty Chaucer cheap cheapo cheapskate cheat cheated cheaters cheating cheats checksumming Cheech cheese cheeseburger cheesecake cheeseplant cheeses cheesiest Cheesman cheetah cheetahs Cheetos Cheever chef Chello Chelmsford Chelsea Cheltenham chemotherapeutics chemotherapy Cheops Chepstow cheque chequebook cheques Cherbourg Cherie Chernenko Chernobyl Cherokee Cheryl Chesapeake Cheshire Chesney Chessington Chessman Chester Chesterfield Cheswick Cheung Chevalier Chevis Chevrolet chewy Cheyenne Chiang Chianti Chicago Chichester chick chickadee chicken chickened chickens chickpeas chicks Chico chicory Chiddingfold Chidham Chidingfold chiffon Chigwell chihuahua chihuahuas Chile Chilean Chiltern Chilterns chime chimera chimeras chimerical chimp chimpanzee chimpanzees chin Chinatown Chinese ching Chinook chipolata Chippendale Chippenham Chipperfield chippy Chirac Chiron chiropody chiropractic chiropractor chiropractors chiropracty Chiswick chlamydia Chloe chlorate chlorosulphonic chocolate chocolates Chomsky Chong Chopra choreographer Chorlton Choudhury chowns Chris Christchurch Christina Christine Christopher chromakey chromatic chromatically chromaticities chromaticity chromatics chromic chronometry chrysalis chrysanthemum Chrysler chub Chubb chubby chucked chug chugging Chumbawamba chunder Chuzzlewit cicada Ciccone Cicely cichlid cichlids cider Cincinatti Cincinnati cinder Cinderella Cindy Cinematronics cinnamon ciphered circuitous circulates circulations circumcised circumciser circumcision circumcisions circumnavigate circumnavigated circumnavigates circumnavigating circumnavigation Cirencester CISC Cisco Citicorp Citrix Citroen citrus cittern Clacton claimer Clair Claire Clairol clambered clamoring clamour clamouring clampers Clampitt clams Clapham clapped Clapton Clara Clare Clarence claret Clarice clarinet clarinets Claris Clarissa Clark Clarke Clarksville classiest Claude Claudette Claudia Claudio clausal clavichord clavichords claviers clearable Clearasil Cleese Cleethorpes cleft Clement Cleo Cleopatra Clerkenwell Cleveland Clifford Clifton climatology Clinique Clint Clinton Clippit clippy clippys clitoral clitoris clitorises Clive cloners Clooney close cloudy Clovelly Clovis clown clowns cludge clumsy clunk clunked Clutterbuck Clwyd Clyde Clydesdale CMOS CNN coals coarsen coat Coates coaxial cobbling Cobham COBOL cobra Coburn cobwebs Cochrane cock cockamamie cockatoo cockney cockroaches cocksparrows cocktail cocktails cocoa coconut coconuts cocoon cod coda CODASYL codec codger codifies Coe coelacanth coelacanths Coen coffee coffees Coffey cognac cognate cognisant cognitively Cognos cogwheel Cohen coinstallers Colbert Colchester Coldplay Cole Coleclough Coleco Coleridge Coletta Colgate Colin collaboratory collectives Colleen Collette collie Colliergate Collins Collis colloquialism colluding Colombia Colombian color Colorado coloratura colored colorful coloring colors colour colt Coltrane colts Columbia Columbian Columbine Columbus Colwyn coma combatted Combe Martin comet cometh comets commandeer commanders commends commercialised Commie Commies committeemen Commodores commonalities commutable commutativity Como Compaq compartmentalized compendia compendiums complainers complementary complex complies compliments Compo composition compositional compositions comprehending comprehension Compuserve computer computerese computerisation Computervision con Conan concatenations conceivers conceptional concert concertina concerto concertos concerts conciliation concocted concomitantly concurrence concurrences condo condor conductance confederacies configurers conformed confounder confounds conga congesting congestive congests Congleton Congo congregated congruency conjectures conjoining conjoints conjugates conjugating Connecticut connectivities Connery Connick Connie Connolly Connor Connors connotation Conor Conrad Conran conscript conservators consoled consonance consortiums Constance Constellar constricted constricting consumptive contagious containee content contentedly contessa contextless contingents continuable contradict contrasty contrition convergency convolutions convolves convoy Conway coolie coot Copeland Copenhagen copiously copped copperpot Coppola cops copse copses copycats copyright Corel Corelli coresident corgi Corinna Corinne Coriolanus corks cormorant cormorants corn cornamuse cornbread Cornelia cornerstone cornet cornett cornetti cornettino Cornetto cornfed Cornish Cornwall corollaries Coronel corporatisation correctional correlational correlator correlators correspondently Corrine Corrs corruptible Corsa Corsica Corsican Corvette Cosgrave Cosham Cosmo cosmologic cosmological cosmologically cosmologist cosmologists cosmology cosmos cosponsors cossacks Costa Rica Costello costless costliest Cosworth Cottingham Cottingley cougar Coulthard countable counteracts counterbalancing counterintuitively counterpoise coup coups courgette courgettes Courtenay Courtney Cousteau Coutts Covent Garden Coventry covetous cow coward cowardice cowardly cowards cowbell cowboy cowboys Cowdrey cowed cowered cowering cowers Cowes cowgirls cowherd cowl cowlick cowling cowls coworkers cows cowshed cowsheds cowslip cowslips coyote coyotes CPU CPUs crabs cracksman Craddock Craig cranberries cranberry crannies crapola crater crawfish Crawley crayfish crazies creases creasing creator credibly Crediton Creole crestfallen cretaceous Crete cretinously Crewe cribbing Cricklewood crikey criticism criticisms Croat Croatia Croatian croissant croissants Cromer Cromwell Cronje Cronkite crosscompilation crosscompiling Crossley crow crowd crows Croydon crucify crumhorn crumhorns Crunchie Crusoe crustacean crux crybabies cryogenically cryptanalyse cryptographical cryptological cryptologists crypts Cthulu Cuba Cuban Cubans cuddle Cujo culminates Culpepper Cumberland Cumbria Cumbrian Cumming Cunnah cunning cunningly cunt Cuprinol Curacao cures curfew curia curing curio curiosities curiosity curlew curlews curmudgeon currants currentness curtailing Curtis Cushing cutes Cuthbert Cuthbertson cutlets cwm Cwmbran cwms cyan cyanates cyanide cyanides cybercops Cyberdyne cyberhighway cyberholics cybermedia cybersex Cybersitter cyberslackers cyberslacking cyberslur cyborgs cygnet Cygnus Cyndi Cynthia cypress cypresses Cyprus Cyril Cyrillic cyst cystic Czech Czechoslovakia Czechoslovakian Czechozlovakia Czechs dad Daedalus Daewoo daffodil Dafoe dafter Dagenham daggers Daglish dahlia Daihatsu Daimler Dakar Dakota dalek Dales Dallas Daltrey Dalyell Damascene Damascus Damian Damilola Damon Dan Dana dandelion Dando danged Daniel Daniela Daniele Daniella Danielle Danish Dankworth Danny Danone Dante Danube Danzig Daphne Darcey Darcy Dario Darleen darlin Darlington Darmstadt Darracq Darragh Darrel Darrell Darren Darryl Darryn Dartford Dartmoor Dartmouth Darussalam Darwin datagrams dataless datamining datedness Datsun daughterboards Dave Davenport Daventry David Davidson Davies Davis Davros dawns Dawson daycare Dayton Daz dBase de Longhi deaggregate deaggregates deaggregation deaggregator Deanna Deanne Deansgate deasserted deasserting deassertion Debbie Debian Deborah Debra Debussy decapsulated decapsulators Decca December deciders deciduous decimally declaim declassified decollating decommission decomposable decompresser decompressible deconstructed deconstructors decor decors decreasingly decriminalisation decry decrying decryptions Dee deencapsulate deencapsulation Deeside defector defenestrate defibrillator defiltering definiteness definitional deflectors Defoe defragged defrauds defray Degas degauss degeneration deglitch deglitching deify Deighton Deirdre Del Delage Delahaye Delaney Delaware delegatable delegatee delegatees delegators Delhi Delia Delilah delimeted delimitors deliniate delinks delirium Della deLonghi Delores demagoguery demangler demangles demasqueraded demeanor Demis demo demodulated demodulates demonstratively demotion Dempster demultiplexor denary Denbighshire Denby denim Denis Denise Denison Denmark
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Ending 2015-12-23: - Enter to win a $250 wardrobe certificate. (12/23/2015)
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- Happy Holiday Giveaway, win $5,000 from Bed Bath and Beyond! Ends 12/23
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Ending 2015-12-25: - Tech-A-Day Giveaway | Les Olson Company (daily prize for 60days) (12/25/2015)
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- Win an Alienware R3 PC and a Corsair gaming peripherals set together worth $1600+ - NA & UK age 13+ (12/25/15)
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- 12 Day Trip to South Africa USA/CAN Only (12/25/2015)
- Win this Lancôme Holiday 2015 makeup collection! | Dave Lackie (12/25/2015)
- $100 GC amazon (12/25/2015)
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- 12 days RIGMAS - Win gaming hardware (headsets and more) from Plantronics - open worldwide (12/25/15)
Ending 2015-12-26: Bleep bloop. I am a generated post. Please contact my creator if you have any questions.
submitted by Sweepstakes_Bot to sweepstakes [link] [comments]
My Lucky Night
My Lucky Night
"My luck is going to change RIGHT NOW", I said to myself as I lit a cigarette and strode confidently into the casino.
So far my luck had been complete and utter shit. I had traveled to the Bahamas to watch my home team compete in the Battle For Atlantis NCAA basketball tournament. So far we were 0-2. Our first loss was devastating to say the least - our second loss, nothing less than humiliating. We needed a win. I needed a win.
The roulette table was nearly dead when I laid down my bills and received a small stack of chips. Black was leading at 73% and I was feeling cautious. Minimum bet, black, spin that wheel. Hit. Again. Hit.
A young newlywed couple sat next to me. She would cover the board with singles and squeal with delight every time she won. She didn't take into account the fact that she was actually netting -10 with every spin. The new groom didn't seem to mind - he was so happy to be with his bride that he bought me a beer.
After I had amassed a respectable number of chips I decided to be bold. I spread my dark blue chips across the board, concentrating on 20. The blushing bride asked why I favored that number.
"I was born on the 20th", I replied. "Oh my god ME TOO!", she gushed as she placed 5 chips on top of mine.
Spin the wheel, no more bets, BANG! 20, even, black. This earned me another beer.
My confidence grew with each spin. It seemed as if I could not lose. Sometimes I won 2x, sometimes 8x and sometimes the gods smiled on me and granted me with 32x.
This continued for about an hour. People came and went, placing $100 bets on red, or odd and sulking away disappointed. By this point I believe I had consumed 4 complimentary beers and a large bottle of water. Somewhere in the edges of my subconsciousness I felt a slight tingle - merely a suggestion of a thought. It wasn't enough to prompt me to action as I was winning. And everyone knows you don't mess with a winning streak. Little did I know that my luck would prove to be more powerful than I expected.
After the wheel hit 35 for the third time in 10 minutes my subconscious had pushed the suggestion of a thought into a very real and very physical pressure in my lower abdomen. The beer, combined with the after-dinner coffee had apparently run its course and was ready to be released back into the wild from whence it came. I tried to argue with my body.
"I'm $300 up!", I cried internally. "HOW LUCKY DO YOU FEEL?", came the reply from the darkest recesses of my brain.
Quickly, I did the math. I could put it all on a 50/50 bet and still have time to cash out and make it to the nearest restroom. I pushed my chips on to black and held my breath. It was at that moment that the pit boss changed dealers. This was unforeseen, but manageable. The new dealer got right to business and threw the marble. Black it was! I hastily gathered my chips, cashed them in and began my trek to the bathroom.
As soon as I stood my colon decided to get in on the action. I took a step, but gingerly. My belt dug in to my full bladder which caused me to almost double over. The closest facility was through the casino and on the other side of the hotel lobby. With every step I gained a greater understanding of the trials faced by Odysseus as he embarked upon his treacherous journey back home to his loving wife. I sought not the comfort of familiar arms, and a warm bed but the sweet ivory embrace of porcelain upon my bursting butt cheeks.
The casino was crowded but not overly so. In the passageway between the casino and the hotel lobby stood about 20 of the most beautiful people I had ever seen. Supermodels, all of them. They were all in town to celebrate the premiere of a new line of high-end jewelery made by someone of which I had never heard. Elegantly dressed and VERY European, they stood, dripping with diamonds and adopting overly-bored looks for a mincing photographer. It was at this point that my luck would be tested once again.
My colon had, at that point, decided that the combination of shashimi, cajun-spiced pasta, coffee and beer had generated more PSI than it could handle. Should I take the gamble?
"DO IT.", my mind commanded. I firmly believe that the voice in my head at that exact moment was that of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Slowly, cautiously, I unclenched just enough to allow for the pressure building inside of my foul innards to return to a manageable state. The noise was not unlike the sound of the archangel Gabriel's trumpet as described in the book over Revelation (Chapter 8, verse 7 for those interested). The stench was something out of the nightmares of H.P. Lovecraft. Slowly, everyone in the area turned to face me. They wore masks combined of accusation and absolute horror. It was not unlike the final scene from the classic horror film “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”, only everyone involved was elegantly dressed and perfectly groomed.
It mattered not – I was beyond their base existence. Mine was a primal fight against my very body. They could go back to their chateaus and villas and sissy motor scooters and fancy, tiny coffees tomorrow. I, however, was engaged in an epic struggle. They could not be expected to understand my plight. Although I had befouled their orgy of opulence, I could not help but smile. For I had gambled on a fart and won by God!
The next obstacle lay ahead of me. As the hotel was populated mostly by North Americans, the staff had decided to go out of their way and provide a giant Christmas tree complete with elves and good ol' Saint Nick himself. I spotted Santa surrounded by a throng of children and briefly allowed myself to wonder how the hotel management was able to find a fat, Caucasian man with a snow-white beard on the island when one of the elves saw me approaching.
“What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas mon?”, he said with a genuinely pleasant smile, “Perhaps some nice new threads and tings?”
“Nothing”, I muttered, “I want nothing.”
The elf seemed displeased with my answer and decided to bring in a higher authority.
“ 'Ey Fadda Christmas – dis guy he don' wan' no presents!”, the elf mused joyfully.
“Everyone wants presents!”, the jolly fat man boomed.
I managed to straighten myself up as much as my screaming abdomen would allow and said, “Mr. Claus, I wish for nothing more than peace on Earth and good will towards men.”
As it turned out, my answer stirred something within his velvet-clad soul. He stepped through the small gathering of children and their pleas for age-inappropriate video games and stood right before me.
“You truly have the Christmas spirit young man! That makes me proud!”, he roared as he lay a meaty hand upon my shoulder. “May you get all of the things in life that you deserve!”
With that he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. The distinct aroma of the local rum wafted from his gullet as I found myself trapped. When the unwelcome molestation was over, I thanked him and wished him a merry Christmas and proceeded on my epic quest.
The sign was right in front of me - “Men's Room”. My goal was in sight - I just had to get there. Each step was now an eternity. In my peripheral vision I could see people staring at me – judging me. As I opened the door to my salvation, I scanned the stalls. Mercifully, all of them were vacant. I entered the first one, removed my jacket and turned to secure the latch. No dice – the latch was broken. Only God knows how I managed to exit the stall and enter the next one. Again, my luck proved true – the latch worked.
As I struggled to remove my belt and unbutton my jeans I could feel my time running out.
“No”, I thought, “Not when I am this close!”
Again, the universe aligned, my pants dropped to my ankles and, just as my bare flesh touched the seat my bowels unleashed their fury. In perfect concert, my bladder erupted with such force that my mind's eye could not help but envision Mt. Vesuvius. I could have sworn I heard the 1812 Overture being played. Faintly, softly.
Feeling significantly lighter, I gathered my wits, zipped up my pants, threw my jacket over my shoulder and left the bathroom stall that now resembled the Bikini Atoll after nuclear testing. Deciding that my luck was at an end, I retired to my room feeling more than satisfied. For on this eve, I had looked the gods in the eye and survived to tell the tale.
TLDR; Won $300 at the casino, had to pee / poop really bad, gambled on a fart and won in front of a bunch of european supermodels almost causing an international incident, made it to the bathroom in the nick of time.
submitted by mdinstuhl to self [link] [comments]
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